Remember the first time you met your spouse? Where were you at? What drew you to them? How did they make you feel? At the beginning of your relationship you and your partner likely spent hours and hours just talking to each other. You probably got to know them, their thoughts, and all their deepest feelings. Some of what made us fall so deeply in love was starting to understand them so deeply.
Now a harder questions, when was the last time you had one of these deep conversations? What are their goals for the future? What have they been feeling lately? What are the little things that they like doing lately? All of these little things that you know about your spouse, as they are right at this moment, makes up what is called a Love Map. Our Love Maps that we have for our partners can lead us straight to their hearts. It allows us to know how to show them love.
Although most of us start out with a detailed Love Map for our partner, one that includes the mountains and valleys of their personality and tendencies, this map changes with time. We all learn and grow. We develop new tastes and hobbies, our work changes, we have children, and we gain experience. Our spouses do as well. That map that you had on your wedding night will not be as effective by your first anniversary, much less your fifth, tenth, and twentieth. We have to constantly be updating this map so that we can stay close to our spouses heart. Without keeping this map updated we will tend to drift farther and farther away from each other emotionally.
So how do we keep this map as up to date as possible? The answers are simple, but not always easy. First, continue to court one another. Do activities or go places with your spouse frequently. Make sure you prioritize and schedule times together. Second, develop good listening skills. When our partners are talking to us, sometimes we may find our mind drifting. We may get bored and try to change the subject quickly. We may focus on what we are going to respond with. Instead we need to learn to listen fully. Few things feel better than someone truly listening attentively to what you are saying and showing interest with comments and questions. Third, continue to serve your spouse. Pay attention to the little things that you can do that will make them happy. Make sure they get little reminders of your love.
Craysy Life 